Perfectionism is subjective and gives us an illusion of safety
You do not really know you are a perfectionist until you meet other perfectionists. We are all perfectionists; except we do not know it. Perfectionism is subjective. Companies play on people’s perfectionism and compulsive-like tendencies to create conformity. Act this way, perform this way, follow this or that protocol and you will be part of our brand. It is an excellent brand. It is perfect.
According to who? Perfectionism is in the eyes of the beholder. Except, some clever marketers (or the invisible hands) have been able to create an illusion of perfection. A perfect dress. A perfect night out. Let us plan your perfect get-away. The list is endless.
Social Media has perfect pictures. High-end restaurants have perfect food. Stars have perfect lives. Supermoms have perfect stamina (guessing that is what they have?). We like the fantasy of perfectionism as it is an escape from the reality of life. Life is messy. Perfectionists are in denial. The discord between what the invisible hands wants us to believe and what is real causes anxiety.
I am a recovering perfectionist. In a lot of ways, I am care-free and just about satisfied with the average product, but on major life segments, I am a perfectionist. I am a life perfectionist.
A life perfectionist waits until life is perfect to start doing. Because he or she has crafted this perfect vision with the following script: “once I achieved this…. then I will do this”. Few examples:
- When I get to that body shape, then I will start dating.
- When I have that accomplishment, then I will apply for my dream job
- When everything in the universe comes together and I sense the perfect day, I will start pursuing my purpose
The outcome is the same in all cases: time wasting. Perfectionists are great procrastinators. I could be given a medal for the crafty excuses I have come up for not living my purpose.
As i go about taking more steps in the right direction and fighting my perfectionism, here are my 3 strategies I have used so far:
1. Define what kind of perfectionist you are
There are different kinds of perfectionists. As above, there are the life perfectionists like me (the when …. then scenario). But there are also those acting on compulsion. My columns in my excel has to be 2mm apart. My Shepard’s pie has to come out perfect. My umbrella has to be folded in pleats in the right way. My day has to be structured in a certain way otherwise I am going to be moody. Nothing wrong with a little bit of perfectionism adding some colourful standards and boundaries. But if any of these are slowing you down, to chase what truly matters, then it is worth reconsidering and analysing your behaviour.
2. Define an acceptable percentage
This strategy has done wonders for me. I modified Colin Powell’s 40–70 rule where if he has between 40% to 70% of information, then he makes the decision. In my case, if I feel it is 70% perfect, I just go for it.
Before, it was always 100%. Sometimes the 100% never comes because it does not exist, so you are left either procrastinating or quitting the goal. At 70%, I stop thinking and I just go for it. This is how I started writing, dating, creating content, networking and getting jobs, moved to a new country. Basically, I apply it to every area of my life.
3. Will it matter in the long-term?
The best question to ask yourself when you sense the perfectionism kicking in, will this level of perfection matter in the long run or am I ok with a minimum viable product or idea and let the world decide?
As much as I am a life perfectionist, I find that perfectionist inclinations distract us from the real work. To be able to distinguish between mundane details which do not matter and important pieces that could lead to a breakthrough is a proper skill.
It is a skill that it harder to build if we are forever focus on polishing every little detail. If am stuck on a particular task trying to make it absolutely pristine, I have trained myself to re-assess its utility at regular intervals.
A little bit of perfectionism goes a long way. Too much does not go anywhere! As a recovering perfectionist, I can still catch myself doing it. I am not 100% perfectly non-perfect! But in recovery mode, you can switch both ways. And I can see when it is starting to be a block rather than a blessing. Let’s embrace the messiness of the world which makes it sublime and stop trying to see fake beauty in make-believe perfection only.
