4 ways to stop overthinking from self-sabotaging your goals
Self-sabotage happens when you undermine your own success despite your dreams, values or aspirations. It is when we subconsciously or knowingly take steps that prevent ourselves from reaching our goals.
It affects all of us on different levels. For some, it can be debilitating. As an overthinker, I have self-sabotage myself countless of times. Most of the times, I did reach the goals, but it took me longer than needed.
Self-sabotage can be toxic. A great example of conscious self-sabotage is when you overeat when you just embarked on a fitness goal. You spiral in a negative state where one mishap of eating badly make you feel guilty and you go back to your old habits.
In this article, I am making the connection between self-sabotage and overthinking. I always thought I self-sabotaged because of the fear of failure and rejection.
But since I moved from being an employee to starting my own business, I have become aware of negative patterns that relates to my overthinking nature:
- I am overcritical of everything am crafting as part of the business.
- I spent too much time perfecting little details that could wait
- I reworked entire scripts because a voice kept telling me I could do better..right now
- I overslept for an hour on one day and felt like the day was ruined
As an example of overthinking, I texted my brother today saying I had to cancel my travel plans, but I love being in the city anyway (being Montreal).
He said: Ok enjoy. Which could be easily interpreted as ‘noted, have fun’. My thought process went like this: Does my family think am deserting them? Has he stopped caring about how I spend Christmas? Is our relationship over?
One thing I learnt about overthinking is that it will never go away, but you can learn to manage it. I have also noticed we overthink about the mundane when there are higher stakes, in this case my new routines.